Role Of Father In Character, Family Formation In The Church

Posted on:December 17th, 2017

WEDNESDAY PRAYERS 11-10-2017

ROLE OF FATHERS IN CHARACTER, FAMILY FORMATION IN THE CHURCH.

Dear fathers, today is your day and that is very true!!! On the first note I want to thank God for making this day come true and to congratulate you-fathers on this most remarkable day and May God make it a memorable one for you all in Jesus name, amen. Secondly, this article themed: “Role of fathers in character, family formation in the Church” that I write this day is geared towards re-awakening the fatherhood consciousness in you once more.

Fathers, let me begin by stating clearly that you are modeled after the heart of Jesus Christ and called to be the “Solid foundation” and “Great anchor” of your respective families. As the Solid foundation of your family- “you are the bedrock of your family.” And as the great anchor of your family-“you have been created to give stability and security, to be a reliable support and to hold firmly your family.” As anchors in the family, you can stop your family from being swept away by the currents of immorality arising from phones, internet, magazines, television etc, you are to stabilize them and other children in cases of their juvenile delinquencies, and bring safety and order back to communities. Your presence in the home is to bring that inner confidence and peace both to your wife and children.

Dear fathers, let me once again remind you that you were created to be the “source and sustainer” not only for your homes but also for the Church, communities and nations. Being the source and sustainer, it doesn’t mean that you Lord it over others, or that you necessarily run things. It means that you are responsible for everything both in the home, the Church, community and where you find yourself. As one who is responsible you are to create “value system” that would make the home, church and society a better place. Of course such values must be founded on the “principles of truth” and “the principles of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

In seeing yourself as the foundation of your home, it means that as the husband, you are the foundation of your marriage-this is the male factor which is modeled after God who is responsible for all that he has created. Be that as it may, it implies that you are to ensure that all those you are responsible for their protection and freedom in the family grow and prosper as God intended, for His glory and the expansion of His ways on the earth.

Dear fathers whether you like it or not, you are the foundation of your family, and a building is only as secure as its foundation. The quality of a foundation determines the stability and value of what is built upon it. You are to recognize the fact that God built the male to found future generations and to be the foundation on which they develop. So having a strong foundation is therefore essential for every man.

When we go by the creation analogy, we come to see that God created only one specie from the soil and that is man, the rest (woman) came from that one man. God built a human family structure, and at the bottom, he laid only one foundation-the male and then created the woman from the man to be his support and help mate in making sure that the human family becomes a surer place to nurture and protect and educate children. (Cf. Gen. 2:15-18, 21-23). You must also note that the instructions God gave in the Genesis creation account was given to man to name and then to teach the creatures which came before him with regards to their creational dignity and statues accorded to each creature by God. This gives him the role of the foundation and anchor of the family and care must be taken to minimize cracks in the foundation of the family which may lead to disaster. The following would help expand our understanding of your duty in your respective families;

The Father as a Teacher:

If this is understood, the father must know that he is the foundation of his Home and must play the active role as a teacher to instruct the children on what they must do so that the Home can be a better place and the children live fruitful lives. To be a teacher implies that he (the father) must lead by example with his own character.

Here we talk about the character formation of the child. The character of a child speaks of who that child is, where that child is from, and what he represents in life. Your child represents you and carries your image wherever they go. If they carry your image well it then means that you have taught them what “truth” and “life” means but if they do not carry your image well, it then means that you have taught them “lies” and “destruction” this therefore means that your responsibility as a father in the home is very important which implies that you are to teach your wife and children what principles and values especially “the principles and values of the  Christian faith” which are to be upheld by all and sundry in the home and then your wife commands the children to keep your instructions to heart and take it as something that would be of great value and help to them in future. Proverbs 1:8 says: “My son, hear the instruction of thy father (that is the original information), and forsake not the law of thy mother (commands of the original information).”

The instruction and the information is the “spoken word” while the command is what the “direction” flowing from what they father has said. The father gives the information as well as the instruction as received from God because he is the carrier of life while the mother directs the child on how to carry out the information given by the father. Once the father’s instruction is original, the mother’s law or command is a repetition of the father’s original instruction and teaching. The originality of this instruction and teaching, the father of the house receives from the Church through the words of the priest, when he studies the bible, and the good information he gets from friends and outstanding association.

The original instruction and command from the father and mother respectively promotes confidence, peace and prevents cracks in the home. If there are cracks in the character formation of the children such as hooliganism, alcoholism, pornography, insincerity, laziness, arising from peer pressure and environmental influence, the father with the help of the mother are to ensure that such is fixed immediately before it becomes worse.

The Father as one who Disciplines:

When we talk of discipline, we must understand it as separate from punishment. Discipline takes teaching to the next level. It is one thing to teach a child, but correction and further instruction help to shape a child’s character. Discipline therefore, is training. Proverbs 22:6 says “train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”

Fathers discipline is not only the responsibility of the mothers as most men think it is rather a co-responsibility. Gen 2: 18 says “it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help mate for him.” It therefore invariable means that both are to give sincere and great support to each other.

God the father disciplines us in every sphere of life as such Godly fathers discipline their children so that they could be proud of them in future. (cf. Sirach 30:1). They are not to paint or join issues with them but to set the standard for which the children are to follow. In disciplining your children you are to set the trend by which their thought pattern follow and this must commence at the very early stages of their life. They grow to be disciples of such standards of extraordinary principle and virtues which you as the principal of such standards have set and would also transmit such standards to their own children. So fathers what you do today determines the future of your children. Know that your presence is very important in the family so do your best to always be in the home.

Father as Developer:

The father is called to develop his family. To develop means “to cause to grow gradually and continually in fuller, larger, and better ways.” To be a great developer, you must do the following; a.) Planning: before an engineer starts constructing a house, he must first have a good plan. The plan contains what will be constructed as well as how it will be used. The father as a developer before entering into marriage and while in his home should have a good plan for his family so that the future of the children and his wife are secured. In planning the future of your family you must plan with God (cf. Proverbs 16:3).

You are to plan with God your children’s education, their moral life and knowledge of God, their friends and company they should keep, character formation is also important, plan with them about what they want to be in future, plan with them about their “short and long term plans” for themselves. When we talk of short term- I mean what they really want to do with themselves within 5-10yrs after schooling say learn a handwork, work, further their education say masters degree etc. and long term implies what they what they hope to settle down with in life for example what profession, or vocation they wish to enter into. 

b.) Protecting: just as a farmer protects his crops from termites and locusts and other invaders, the father as a developer, you are also to protect your children’s life and future from evil and frustrations and unhappiness with prayers-, constant moral instructions, daily study of the word of God, sound teaching that would serve as a daily guide for them. As a father your image protects and secures. Once you have set the right values and principles, your children would follow suit and will never derail from your teachings because your word as it flows from God through prayers will protect them from bad company and evil.

In Conclusion, there are so many things to say to you fathers but I have to stop here in the main time. I want you to know that you are the most important part in your family and I would want you to become a man like Saint Joseph whom you are called to emulate; that your family, community, and nation and the church can stand secure on, knowing that you won’t collapse beneath them regardless of what forces come against you. I want you to know that when you begin to see yourself as the foundation and anchor of your respective families, things will begin to take shape both in your personal, family, social and religious life.

I wish you all well and ask our Blessed Mother to grant you great support in your endeavors now and always through Christ our Lord. (For further readings-read the books of proverbs and Sirach and the Fatherhood Principles by Myles Munroe.) May God bless and keep you all!!!

 

PRAYER DURING THE LIGHTING OF CANDLES BY THE MEN

 

1. Oh fathers in the name of the father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, know this onwards that you are the light of your family and as you light these candles from this altar, may the light in your families never go dim or dark in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1. From this day onward, oh fathers know therefore that you are the foundation of your families; Christ is the surest foundation, as you build yourself upon this foundation, and may your families never crumble with the winds of troubles and the waves of distress in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1. It takes just one person to light the candle for others to see, oh, fathers-you are that light may you never walk in darkness in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1. Oh fathers, you are the great anchor of your family taking after God who modeled and fashioned you after his person to anchor your family, may you never grow tired of this responsibility entrusted to you in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1. Oh fathers, since the foundation of the world God in Gen. 1:28 has given man the power and the authority to subdue and conquer the earth; from this day may this authority and power given to you by God and renewed with the coming of Christ lead you to conquer those storms of your lives in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1. As you light your candle from this paschal candle, may Christ be enthroned in your home and in your life and may he be the great refuge in the times of anger, frustrations and depression in the name of Jesus. Amen

 

1. As you hold this lighted candles may all those things that have wrestled with you and kept you in bondage from this day forward, may such bondage and snares and traps that have kept you and your household be broken in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1. Oh fathers know this day that just as Jesus is the great teacher you are also a teacher, and have been given the mandate to instruct your children in the way of God, may that responsibility be empowered now and always in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1. Oh fathers, you are the leader just as Moses was the leader of the people of Israel, he brought them out of the land of bondage in Egypt with the power of God, may you from this day be given that confidence as a leader to lead your children and family with the power of God from the bondage they are into in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1. As you light and hold this candle this day, may you be given the confidence that Joshua had to lead the people of Israel in conquering Jericho in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1. Oh fathers you have been given the word to speak blessings and not curse into the lives of your children, as you open this mouth to bless your children, may the Lord bless your children and empower their destiny and make their future bright in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1. Oh Fathers know this day that as you walk, you carry the light of Christ and you are never alone in the activities of your life so I pronounce upon thee this day confidence and courage to carry out your God given assignment in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1. Oh fathers as you lead your family to worship the living and true God as he declared in Ex 23:25-26, there shall be bread for you and your children to eat, the lord shall take sickness away from you, in the name of Jesus. Amen

 

1. Your daughters and the women of your house will not have miscarriage or be barren, the Lord shall fulfill the number of your years and add value to your personality in the name of Jesus. Amen

 

1. As you carry this light this day, the Lord declared in Psalm 147: 13, he has blessed your children within you and make them prosper in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1. Oh fathers, as you take the word of God to heart, and believe in it and teach your household the same, as the word of God declares in Psalm 25:13 you will abide in prosperity, and your children shall possess the land in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1. Oh fathers as you carry this light and seek to belong to Jesus alone and worship no other God or occultic powers, your house shall stand firm forever as the word of God declares in Proverbs 12:7 in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1. Oh fathers, as you fear the Lord in your actions, your words and find great delight in his command as the word of God declares in Psalms 112:1-2, your children will be mighty in the land in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1. Oh fathers as you hold this candle this day, may the flames of this candle represent your faith with which you will be able quench all the flaming arrows of the evil ones in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1. Oh fathers, you are the initiator, the source, and supporter of generations may the Lord preserve that role that he has given you and make you ever strong to sustain your ancestral line in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1. Oh fathers as you light your candles know this day that you have been given the responsibility not only to start and provide the future generations but also to your generation an identity, may the Lord preserve the positive identity you impact in your household in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1. Oh fathers as you light this candle know that God has given you the role of an author modeled after Jesus who is the author and finisher of our faith, may God protect the gene that pass on to your children in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1. As the word of God declares in Isaiah 52: 13 the Lord says, “My servant will succeed in his task; he will be highly honoured” may this be the statement of the Lord over your life in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1.  The word of God in Isaiah 51: 3 says “I will show compassion to Jerusalem, to all who live in her ruins. Though her land is a desert, I will make it a garden, like the garden I planted in Eden. Joy and gladness will be there, and songs of praise and thanks to me” may the Lord make this happen from day forward in your homes in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1. Oh fathers, know this day that you are the nourisher of your family, may the Lord make you fulfill this role well in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1. On fathers you are the supporter of your family, may you be empowered to give both spiritual and physical support to your families in the times of trials and troubles in the name of Jesus. Amen.

 

1. Oh fathers, you are great and the founder of your family, may your seed which has resulted in children be solidly built on the Lord who is the solid foundation in the name of Jesus.

 

Oh fathers, you are the protector of your family, may the Lord guide you in the path you should follow and may your words spoken to your children give them security and joy and peace in the name of Jesus. Amen.